Songs of Love & Heartache
by thewisestwise
Summary: BeChloe story. A non-linear collection of episodes in Beca & Chloe's road to togetherness. Each chapter is based on a song in this 8tracks playlist: /esuarez85/songs-of-love-heartache
1. Vincent

_**AN:**_ _I don't own Pitch Perfect or the characters. This is a planned multi-chap fic. It's gonna get angsty in here, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I made an 8tracks playlist to accompany it, you can search for the same title name. Enjoy! Hopefully, there's enough interest and I'll post another chapter in the next few days. Cheers!_

 _Chapter 1 - Vincent_

It was a crisp, cool autumn day on the Barden campus. Beca wished she'd thought enough to grab a sweater or a jacket before setting off across the quad. Not being one to plan ahead and check the forecast, she grumbled under her breath and took her mind off the chill by crunching acorns along the sidewalk. Such a simple thrill-a remnant of childhood and an indulgence she could never let go of no matter how adult she tried to be.

Smirking as she destroyed tiny acorn villages, Beca found her mind drifting off toward another indulgence. Her mind had wandered to a night several weeks before; specifically, Beca found herself replaying a moment over and over again in her mind. Fiery red hair, attached to a fiery redhead, flying out her dorm room. The argument leading up to the dramatic exit had left Beca confused, feeling hurt and at a loss.

 _Somewhere between an essay for English literature and fifty pages of reading for Western Civilization, Beca had found herself at her laptop. She didn't have any projects in the works; rather, her attention had been focused on a particular folder of songs. Some songs were mixes and mashups of her creation, others were songs that reminded her of blue eyes, of a piercing smile. Losing track of time, her fog was cleared by the familiar ding of her cell phone._

 _Chloe: Hey, what are you doing?_

 _Beca: oh...just pretending to be studying. You?_

 _Chloe: How about a little company?_

 _Beca: i don't know…i really should study._

 _Beca couldn't help the tiny laugh that escaped her mouth. She saw three floating dots appear, and then disappear in her text window. It was unfair, but easy and entertaining how easily she could tease her friend. Beca quickly ran to her dorm door and craned her neck into the hall._

 _"Hey, loser. Get in here."_

 _Several doors down, Chloe turned around slowly and sighed._

 _"You think you are funny. You aren't, by the way. You're a jackass," Chloe replied as she made her way back to Beca's dorm room._

 _"So what's up? How was your day?" Beca asked as they settled into familiar positions: Beca at her computer and Chloe sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bed._

 _"Another exciting day in the life of a grad student. Today, I really felt like I'm taking steps toward changing the world," Chloe responded, rolling her eyes and taking her jacket off._

 _Beca clicked absentmindedly on her computer, attempting the keep her focus on the screen and not on the few inches of ivory skin being displayed before her. Sighing as quietly as she could, she opened a folder entitled "Us" and pressed play._

 _"Hey, you!" Beca snapped back to reality, realizing the redhead had continued to tell her the musings of her day._

 _"Sorry, just drifted off for a second!"_

 _"That's okay, Becs. Why are you so far away, anyway? Come sit with me. I'll keep you focused on me!" Chloe moved from the center of the bed and patted the spot next to her. This would have been enough to convince Beca to surrender herself. The flip of red hair and wink were unnecessary weapons being used against her. Beca leaned back onto her head board and steadied herself, body and mind, for the next attack. Chloe smiled up at the brunette as she nestled into Beca's neck. The smell of coconut flooded Beca's senses. She felt her heart beating through her chest and prayed._

 _At once, Beca prayed that Chloe would and wouldn't notice. Were this moment to pass, Beca would remain safe, free from rejection and humiliation. But at the same time, the brunette couldn't help wishing Chloe would feel the love pouring out from her. Were Chloe to notice, were Chloe to ask, were Chloe to look Beca in the eyes in this moment and whisper, "Tell me. Tell me and I'm yours."_

 _They remained like this for several minutes. Lying in each other's embrace. Beca thought perhaps they would fall asleep in this position. It wouldn't be the first such occasion. It wouldn't be the last. Over the last year, Beca had found herself in this same situation countless times: wrapped in the arms of this beautiful girl, bathing in the smell of coconut and lulled by the soft hum of her voice._

 _Beca felt herself drifting, her head had turned just slightly so her lips were grazing Chloe's forehead. She adjusted to bring more of her body in contact with Chloe's. She smiled as she felt light fingertips running along her arm. She mimicked this action, running her own fingertips along Chloe's thighs, drawing circles around the hem of her dress. Their eyes met and Beca thought she might die from the electricity circulating between them._

 _"Chloe…" Beca sighed._

 _"Becs…" Chloe sighed._

 _This familiar scene, this all too comfortable dance they'd been doing for months. Beca could no longer stand it. She ran her hand up Chloe's back, her fingers finally anchoring at the base of the redhead's neck. She stared into those bright blue eyes. She tried to maintain composure but couldn't resist the smile that crept upon her face. Chloe returned the look, slightly giggling as she rubbed the tip of her nose against Beca's. As Chloe moved to lay her head back down on the pillow, Beca pressed her lips softly against the redhead's._

 _Time didn't slow; time stopped. If either girl had the ability to view the happenings of the outside world, they would see a moment frozen. Cars stopped on the road, undergrads leaving study sessions paralyzed mid-step, even stars holding their shine rather than twinkling._

 _Beca wanted more. As she moved into the kiss, she felt Chloe open her mouth and grant her access. Their tongues danced together, fingers tangling in hair and their bodies moving as one. Beca wanted to stop and tell the redhead everything. She wanted to give her heart and her body and say, "I'm nothing without you. Whether you want me or not, I'm just so unfortunately yours."_

Beca had made it to her Music Appreciation class. Luckily, she had a fairly firm grasp on the subject matter so her waxing and waning attention wouldn't be problematic. In the three weeks that had passed since the evening of her first kiss with Chloe, Beca found it difficult to maintain focus on anything other than that night. Before she knew it, class was over and she found herself on the quad again, cursing herself more loudly this time for her lack of planning as large drops of rain began falling.

"Beca!"

Beca turned to the sound of her name being called. She saw Stacie and Cynthia Rose waving her over to them, as they entered the campus cafe. As the ran toward them, deftly avoiding the newly formed puddles, she spotted Chloe and Aubrey making their way towards the same girls. Beca froze, not knowing what her next move should be. The two hadn't spoken since the fight that night. She and Chloe made eye contact and Beca tried to convey her every emotion in the fleeting glance. She wanted to say how sorry she was, she wanted to tell Chloe she was all she could think about, and that she would never want to lose their friendship over a kiss-even if that kiss had meant everything.

Her heart continued to break as she watched Aubrey grab Chloe's hand and lead her back toward the library. She knew the blonde was fiercely protective of her best friend and, in her mind, Beca was the enemy. It wasn't Beca's place to be hurt. It wasn't her place to beg for understanding. She picked her pace back up and joined her friends in the comfort of the coffee shop.

The trio ordered their drinks and settled into a cozy corner. Stacie and Cynthia Rose exchanged knowing looks and seemingly egged each other on to break the ice. Stacie spoke up first.

"Hey, Beca. Is everything okay? We don't mean to pry-" Stacie turned to Cynthia Rose for support.

"Yeah, short stuff...we're just worried about you and Red. Seems like something's a little off."

Beca sighed. She adjusted herself in her seat and looked out the window to the library. The three sat in quiet tension for a little while longer.

"Beca. Listen, I know what it's like to be in love with someone and it not be returned," Cynthia Rose leaned in and quietly spoke.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Beca retorted and sheepishly crouched down in her chair, realizing how loud she'd been.

Stacie reached across the small table and put her hand on Beca's knee, "Beca. It's okay. YOu two have this insane relationship. We all see it. And we are here to support you. So just tell us what happened."

Beca felt tears form in her eyes. She breathed in deeply a couple of times, trying to regain her composure. Looking across to her friends, she realized the jig was up. She had been found out. Beca-the island, the lone wolf, she who needed no one-had given away the one secret she never wanted known. She loved Chloe. Without ever having to utter the words, the world knew. She began to tell the girls about that night, the kiss, and the aftermath.

 _Their kiss seemed to last an eternity. When they finally pulled away, smiling sweet at each other, Beca waited a moment before finally speaking._

 _"Chloe, I wanted to-"_

 _"Beca...listen. I...you know how much I care about you."_

 _Beca immediately broke their contact. Her ears burned and a lump formed in her throat. Those words. The hesitation in Chloe's voice. She knew what was happening. She knew this was the letdown. She couldn't let herself be hurt._

 _"Yeah, of course. We're friends. I care about you...you care about me. Like I care about all the girls. Yeah."_

 _Chloe paused. Beca's entire demeanor had changed. The brunette had stiffened. She looked away from Chloe and started to get up to go back to her computer._

 _"Becs, please just listen to me. I don't want to hurt you."_

 _"Yeah I wouldn't want you to do that either," Beca feigned a laugh. "I know what you're doing, Chloe. And it's cool. We are just friends who maybe just made out a little. College, right? Experimentation, and all that…Anyway, I should get back to my studies."_

 _"Your studies? Since when do you care about your 'studies,' Beca?"_

 _"Chloe! I was perfectly happy working and you're the one who invited yourself over! Listen, things went too far and you're freaking out. I get it. Don't worry...I don't expect to be any different that any of your many other flings."_

 _Beca heard the words coming out of her mouth. She heard the emphasis she had put on the word many. She couldn't stop herself. She was attacking Chloe before the redhead had a chance to hurt her. A wave of coconut washed over her as Chloe grabbed her jacket and bag and was out of the room like a shot. It was done. Beca had sabotaged herself perfectly and now, once again, she was alone._

Stacie and Cynthia Rose sat in silence as Beca finished her story. Both girls knew the feelings Beca had felt for Chloe. She was not particularly skilled at hiding those emotions, and all the Bellas had discussed the relationship between their friends. It was no secret Chloe could get anything she wanted from Beca. A kiss on the cheek, a deep sigh, a flip of her hair and a wink: Chloe had to do very little to get Beca's attention. The Bellas had all hoped the situation would correct itself, either with Beca and Chloe coming together naturally or with Beca's feelings being less serious and permanent than love. With the story of this fight, however, the friends realized that intervention was necessary.

The girls finished their coffee as the rain passed and mused about classes and competitions and other meaningless topics. When they finally said their goodbyes, Stacie and Cynthia Rose knew what they had to do.

Two weeks had passed and while nothing was mended, Beca and Chloe had found it possible to remain in the same room, if not hold a conversation beyond pleasantries. The Bellas had conspired to get the girls in a room together. Stacie had met with Aubrey to discuss what the other knew about the situation and decided the best course of action was a Bella dinner. It was something not out of the ordinary, something that would be easily manipulated.

Beca knocked on the door to Aubrey and Chloe's apartment and was greeted by the blonde hostess. The night unfurled as usual: dinner, wine and beer, great music and laughs shared by friends. The Bellas tried to create scenarios wherein Beca and Chloe would happen upon one another and be forced to talk, but nothing organic had happened. The looks, the stolen glances were palpable. Fat Amy turned to Stacie at one point and mumbled about the two needing to be locked in a room to get at it like dingoes. As the night dragged on, the Bellas were worrying that their chances were dashed. After dinner was finished, the girls all dispersed to different areas of the living room and patio. Beca had excused herself to the bathroom while Aubrey and Chloe were in the kitchen grabbing more wine. Stacie took the chance, snagging Aubrey by concocting a lie about the stereo not working. Chloe said she'd be in shortly with wine, but before she could make it out of the kitchen, there was Beca. The brunette had come into the kitchen to grab a beer and unknowingly cornered the redhead. It was now or never.

"Hey."

"Hey…"

"Becs, I-"

"No, Chloe. Please just let me talk. I have to say this and if I don't say it now, I don't know if I ever will. Please."

"Fine, Beca. Go on."

"Chloe. I've missed you so much. I haven't been able to function. My mind is just stuck on you. On that night. I never should have said those things to you. I was scared...scared of losing you as my friend. Scared of what might happen the next day. I wanted to hurt you before you hurt me. I'm so sorry. I've ruined everything. I don't expect you can forgive me."

Chloe sat her wine glass down and crossed the space between them. She wanted nothing more than to grab the brunette, pull her into her arms and hold her. She wanted to scream that she loved her, that she wanted to tell her that night. She stared deep into Beca's eyes. She was searching for something, some kind of sign that Beca was ready. She needed to know that Beca wasn't going to run. Beca broke their gaze, looking down to the floor and shuffling her feet.

Neither could be the one. One could argue if confessing their love made them stronger or weaker. Maybe it was different for each of them. But what remained true was that the girls were not ready for such confessions, for such absurd truths to be uttered.

Chloe cleared her throat, in an attempt to shake the thoughts from her mind.

"Becs, you're my best friend. More than anyone else, you know me. I'm sorry things have been so weird, but we can work on getting back to normal, right? I miss you too." Chloe finally ended the month-long standoff and pulled Beca in. She felt the brunette collapse into her arms and knew there was so much left unsaid in their embrace. There was still so much to work on, but this was a start.


	2. Be Be Your Love

**AN:** With this second installment, I wanted to add clarification for the tone and structure of this piece. If you haven't made it over to 8tracks to listen to the playlist, definitely give it a go. My premise is for each of those songs to be a chapter in the relationship of Beca  & Chloe, though these chapters will not necessarily follow chronological order. I hope you continue to enjoy.

* * *

 _Chapter 2 - Be Be Your Love_

Chloe Beale loved. Second to her flaming red hair, it was her most defining characteristic. She loved fiercely, quickly and with an unbridled passion. Her mother once told her, while consoling her daughter after a difficult breakup, that it was her greatest strength and weakness. Chloe saw the world differently than others. She viewed every person as a new experience. Not notches on a bedpost or as trophies. No, Chloe Beale truly felt that every person she met and engaged with was someone she could learn from and grow with. In some occasions, this deduction was accurate. Chloe had met several men-and a few women-with whom she had discovered new parts of herself and matured to be a better version of that woman.

It was during Chloe's sophomore year at Barden that she learned what heartache was. She had seen it in movies, read about it in novels and certainly cried over sappy love songs. But to say that she had felt the aching and crushing loss of heartbreak-Chloe had been spared of that until that point. Her high school boyfriend had gotten into Barden on an athletic scholarship and Chloe decided to follow him. Two months into the semester, two years into their relationship, he made the decision to explore other options. He had learned the benefits of being something of a celebrity on the small campus and no longer wanted to be tied down by the girl who would cling to him at parties and declare to be best friends with the nameless sorority sisters his teammates would bring around.

This experience changed Chloe. She ran to the comforting arms of her mother, who-to Chloe's surprise-advised her to trust a little less and play the field a little more. Chloe became more guarded in the coming years, searching less for soulmate she'd once craved and enjoying the company of casual, short-term companions. This new-found philosophy suited the redhead. She could bask in the glow of new experiences; she could learn about new people and explore hidden treasures in the city she called home. But most importantly, she could keep her heart safe and secure, because she remained in control.

* * *

"Chloe! That's the fifth dress you've tried on. Just pick one and finish getting ready! Everyone will be here soon and we aren't done setting up the apartment!" Aubrey stormed out of her roommate's presence and back to the kitchen.

"Okay, okay...I guess it doesn't matter really. No one to impress," Chloe muttered, settling for a light blue sundress. After she put the finishing touches on her hair and makeup, she made her way to the kitchen to receive her directive from her stern roommate.

"Private Beale reporting for duty, General! Whatcha need?"

Aubrey heaved a sigh of frustration and handed Chloe a stack of paper plates, cups and utensils.

"You finish setting up the food table. I'm just putting the final touches on the hors d'oeuvres and then we can get the bar set up. Do you think Beca would mind handling music?"

Chloe placed the supplies in a neat and orderly fashion, per Aubrey's liking, and walked over to the table the girl's had chosen for the bar.

"I mean...I don't know why she wouldn't." Chloe replied with a questioning tone.

"Well, she's bringing Jesse, right? I just didn't know if she'd want to be stuck behind a computer all night," Aubrey called from the kitchen, slicing limes for the many tequila shots she envisioned being taken.

"Oh...I didn't know they were still a thing. I kinda figured she'd have ended that by now." Chloe tried to sound nonchalant.

She and the DJ had become closer in the summer after she graduated. Beca had stayed on campus taking summer courses and they had spent many evenings together, particularly while Aubrey had been away on vacation. Beca had shared with Chloe that she and Jesse had become something of an item. The brunette played it off as though it were nothing serious, merely a summer fling. With the new school year approaching, Chloe had simply assumed Beca would have ended the young relationship.

Chloe was suddenly hit with the realization that the friendship she had formed with Beca might be changing. They had grown accustomed to having each other for company over the last month. When Aubrey came back, Chloe assumed the duo would merge into a comfortable trio. But throwing Jesse into the mix wouldn't work. Beca wouldn't want her afternoons with Chloe to turn into evenings that led to sleepovers when her boyfriend was in town.

"Well, she said she was bringing him. I don't keep track of her social activities. I'm not into grunge, you know," Aubrey retorted, joining her roommate in the living room. "Well, I think we are officially ready to throw an aca-awesome fall party! Chloe? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just...just thinking. It's just crazy. Starting grad school and everything. Just...just hit me that things are going to be different this year." Chloe tried to casually wipe the tear forming in the corner of her eye.

Chloe felt Aubrey's hand on her shoulder and turn to face the concerned blonde. The last thing she wanted was to start talking about this-whatever it was-right before their party. Luckily, the doorbell signaled their first guests had arrived and she was saved from having to have an awkward conversation. She couldn't fully wrap her mind around what was wrong, but Chloe felt certain it was nothing a drink and a little dancing couldn't fix.

* * *

Several hours into the party and Chloe had forgotten all her temporary troubles. After dancing with a few choice suitors, she made her way through the crowd and sidled up next to Beca. The DJ had set herself up in the corner with Aubrey's laptop. Her responsibilities were few; mainly, she kept a steady flow of dance tracks playing and threw in a couple of requests here and there. Jesse was mingling with several Treblemakers and Bellas, and, honestly, she was relieved to have a little break from him.

"Hey you! I've been missing you all night! Thanks for the music...everyone is having a blast!" Chloe exclaimed, more enthusiastically than usual due to her slight inebriation.

"I'm really glad. I don't know how you're still moving. You been dancing all night!" Beca replied, grabbing the redhead's cup to take a sip of her drink. This action, one of many familiar behaviors, had become a common occurrence for the two.

"Well now I've made the mistake of sitting down. You may have to carry me to bed later, cos I don't think I'll ever get up again!"

The two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, taking in the surroundings and commenting on the couples forming from happenstance and a lack of sobriety. The solitude was interrupted by a tall blond named Tom. Tom was a genuinely nice guy who Chloe had met years before. He had always pursued something more serious with the redhead, but she was happy to keep things casual between them. Chloe invited him and a few of his friends tonight, as she still enjoyed his company.

"Hey, Chloe...wanna dance?" Tom asked, extending his hand to the girl.

Chloe hated leaving her little solace with Beca, but saw Jesse approaching from the corner of her eye and figured it was better than being the third wheel.

Chloe leaned in and whispered into the brunette's ear, "If we move quickly enough, we can ditch these losers and run away together!" Beca laughingly replied, "I'll be right here waiting to carry you off to bed when you're done, m'lady." Chloe raised her eyebrows in a mock seductive way and kissed Beca on the cheek before taking Tom's hand and heading off to the makeshift dance floor.

Tom and Chloe danced for a few songs; he never noticed the redhead stealing glances to the DJ corner to keep an eye on Beca and Jesse. Since the Treblemaker had been back over with her, Chloe couldn't help but notice the change in Beca's demeanor. From her vantage point, it distinctively looked as though the couple were arguing.

"Beca, we said we would make an appearance! You said we were gonna have some time together tonight and instead you've been sitting up in the corner!" Jesse tried to keep his voice down.

"Aubrey and Chloe asked me to DJ for them. I couldn't really say no."

"DJ? Beca, you've been playing music from Aubrey's iTunes all night. Anyone could have done that. Look, let's just go home now. We can still watch a movie or something. I'm sorry I'm upset. I just missed you all summer. Please?"

Beca looked over at the redhead, who was currently engaged in tequila shots with Tom and Fat Amy. She knew she owed it to her boyfriend to make an effort.

"Fine. Let me just say goodbye to everybody. I'll meet you in the car." Jesse nodded and quickly said goodbye to his friends before heading out the door.

Beca set a new playlist up that would cover the music for the rest of the night. Jesse was right about that. She didn't need to babysit the music situation. But it gave her an escape from his pleading eyes and expectations. She made her way over to her hostesses to bid them goodnight. She asked Aubrey to tell the rest of the Bellas she'd see them later. When she looked around for Chloe, she'd found the redhead sitting in front of the laptop. Her bright blue eyes lit up when they made eye contact with Beca's. Holding that gaze, the brunette made her way over and sheepishly told the girl she had to leave.

"What? But who's gonna take care of me when I'm drunk and want to make bad decisions tonight," Chloe couldn't help but purr at Beca.

"I'm really sorry, Chlo. I promised Jesse and it doesn't really matter what...I promised him. And he's my boyfriend so, I just have to go. But I'll talk to you tomorrow, right?" Beca squeezed the redhead's knee before jumping up and jogging out of the door.

Chloe couldn't help it. The tear in the corner of her eye was back. She felt a lump forming in her throat. Why was she so upset? Slightly shaken, she walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Aubrey and Stacie had the same idea and were talking about their respective summers when the readhead entered, with slightly watery eyes and a furrowed brow.

"Chloe...what's up?" Stacie glanced at Aubrey, expecting the blonde to have answers.

"I dont...I don't really know. I think I'm just going to go to bed." Chloe's head was a mess, thoughts were running through it at breakneck speed. Thoughts of Beca, of their summer, of what she would be doing with Jesse later that evening.

Aubrey and Stacie exchanged concerned looks. Aubrey grabbed three bottles of water as Stacie grabbed Chloe's hand and walked to her bedroom. The three girls sat on Chloe's bed in silence. Chloe tried to start speaking a few times, but still couldn't quite pinpoint what was wrong. Looking around the room, trying to blink away tears and find clarity, her eyes stopped on a familiar grey hoodie.

"Beca…" she finally uttered.

Aubrey and Stacie stared at one another, waiting for more words to follow. Chloe's eyes filled with tears and she grabbed onto Aubrey and cried, "I think I'm in love with Beca."


	3. If It Kills Me

Sometimes, Chloe even impressed herself. There she sat, enduring yet another serenade of Beca starring Jesse, and she was physically controlling the urge to grab the brunette and run out of the karaoke bar. _Impressive,_ she thought.

The song came to an end and Jesse made his way back to the group's table. _Look at that proud little smirk on his face...insufferable,_ Chloe finished her drink as he sat back down. Jesse reclaimed his place next to Beca and raised his eyebrows in expectation. The brunette, however, was currently engaged in conversation with Fat Amy and Aubrey and had yet to notice her boyfriend's presence. Jesse cleared his throat timidly, and then again with more vigor.

"Oh, hey! You're back. You're done. You did it! Yay!" Beca attempted to cheer, but it came out heavily laced with sarcasm.

"Babe. Were you even listening?" Jesse's pout was making an appearance.

"Don't call me babe. You know I hate that. And yes, I was listening...to most of it. I still don't understand why you feel the need to sing 'Jesse's Girl' girl, though. Dude, you know we're already dating and _you_ are Jesse?" Beca laughed and went back to her conversation.

Chloe sat across the table with Stacie, discussing what movie they should go see over the weekend, and absorbed the scene before her. She did not take joy in the way Beca treated Jesse. She knew that Beca felt some obligation to date the Treblemaker and it hurt her to think how unhappy and unsatisfied they both must be.

* * *

"Up next...we have Fat Amy and I think she's bringing some friends up!" The karaoke emcee announced.

"Alright, twigs...let's do this!" The Aussie grabbed Aubrey, Stacie, Chloe, Beca and Cynthia Rose and shoved them all up toward the stage.

"Amy, what on earth are we doing?" Aubrey looked terrified.

"Don't worry, Aubrey...no pressure, no vomit!" Stacie reassured the blonde as Fat Amy gave her a resounding pat on the back.

The lyrics screen popped up with the words "Lady Marmalade" and the girls all laughed and high-fived. They took places around shared microphones and Cynthia Rose started them off. Chloe couldn't help notice the brunette who slid in next to her. She and Beca shared a smile and Chloe felt a hand on the small of her back. The girls all took turns singing and dancing, with Stacie doing more gyrating and grinding than anything else. The crowd was loving it and the girls were having a blast. When they finished to roaring applause, the girls all took a bow and made their way back to the table.

Chloe, feeling parched, decided she needed a refill on her drink. As they made it back to the table, the other girls sat back down and Chloe asked if any one needed anything.

"I _do_ need another drink, but I don't really know what I want." Beca replied.

"Here, just get one of what I have. You'll like it!" Jesse thrust his drink toward the brunette's mouth.

"God, that's so sweet. I don't know how you drink that stuff, Jesse." Beca pushed the drink away in disgust.

Chloe reached out almost without awareness and grabbed Beca's hand.

"Come with me and we'll figure out what you want." Chloe smiled, not entirely innocently.

The duo walked to the crowded bar, Chloe still holding Beca's hand. She felt Beca lean into her, just slightly, and couldn't help but smile.

"So, are you going to sing me something to declare your undying love for me tonight?" Chloe, liquid courage coursing through her veins, decided she wasn't going to hold back her flirtations this evening.

"Yeah I was planning on a mashup of 'Roxanne' and 'Every Little Thing She Does is Magic' but would you believe they didn't have that selection?!" Beca reacted with feigned frustration before striking an air guitar pose and singing "Put on your reeeeeeeeeed light!"

Chloe laughed and pulled the shorter girl into her and kissed her on the cheek, "I just love you."

Beca sighed and her eyes glanced back to her boyfriend. It was no secret to their friends how heavily Jesse had pursued her during their freshman year. After ICCA's, she had kissed him. She made the choice, she followed the course of events to a definite conclusion, and now she had a boyfriend who cared so deeply for her. If she had only reciprocated, life would be easy. Still, she knew he was a great guy, he tried so hard to make her happy and she owed it to him to give it a try. If nothing else, she'd break up with him over the summer and could start her sophomore year without any distractions. Well, without _Jesse_ as a distraction.

She hadn't realized that while she was lost in thought, Chloe has gotten them drinks.

"Okay, so I didn't know what you'd want so I got us options. Whatever you like best is yours! So here...this is a Moscow Mule…" Beca sipped it and crinkled her nose in delight at the fizzy ginger drink. Chloe handed her the other drink.

"...and this is a Sazerac." Before Beca could take a sip, she was hit with the sweet smell of licorice. Her lips grazed the glass and she tasted lemon, whiskey, the slightest sweetness.

"Definitely this guy," she said, grabbing the second drink. "What's it called...Saz…?"

"Sazerac. It's the first American cocktail. I had one in New Orleans once and I loved it. But they pack a mean punch. Best to sip on it. Very Southern." Chloe affected a deep drawl with her last two statements, and she grabbed Beca's hand as they made their way back to the group.

Trailing slightly behind Chloe, the brunette couldn't help but get lost in her thoughts again. As wonderful as he was, Jesse would have never done that. Gotten two things he thought Beca might like and let her pick. Jesse always just ordered what he wanted and got her the same. And she never enjoyed it. He loved sweet things; she, in many aspects, was bitter. He loved movies; she found them pointless. He wanted to make grand, often public, gestures of love; she preferred to keep things private. She'd known Jesse the same amount of time as she'd known Chloe. She wondered why it could be the redhead read her so easily.

When they made it back to the group, Beca discovered Jesse had gone up to the emcee with a group of Treblemakers to select another song to sing. Relishing in another moment away from him, she sat down next to Chloe. The redhead was surprised but certainly not unhappy to feel the warmth from the brunette next to her. They sat together, chatting with their friends, playfully poking at one another, until Jesse came back to the table. He sat down and cast a look in Beca's direction which suggested he wanted her to come sit next to him. She could feel his eyes narrowing on her, but played it off as though she hadn't noticed and continued her conversation with the girls. Chloe, having noticed the exchange, couldn't help but feel victorious.

* * *

As the night drew to a close, the group began to say their goodbyes and disperse. Chloe had gone to the bar to pay our her tab for the evening, when she felt a hand on the small of her back.

"Hey, you!" Chloe reached behind and grabbed Beca's hand.

"Hey...I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you." Beca had to take a moment, feeling as though her stomach had flipped at the sight of Chloe's piercing blue eyes.

Chloe finished signing her receipt, thanked the bartender, and pulled Beca into her arms. Her lips made their way to the brunette's temple and she kissed her lightly there, wishing she were bolder and could confess her feelings. She had always had an attraction to the younger girl, but Chloe was quickly realizing she was falling hard. This was no simple crush. Chloe Beale wanted nothing more than to be there person Beca Mitchell went home with, woke up to, made pancakes for. Whatever the scenario, Chloe wanted it all. She wished Beca could just sense all these thoughts. It would be so much easier for Beca to just call her out and tell her she knew the redhead had deeper feelings. But these things went unsaid and Chloe resigned herself to taking satisfaction in the embrace she was currently sharing.

Beca felt her mind swimming. Her nose was flooded with the smell of coconut, the skin was tingling from Chloe's touch, and she feared she may never regain feeling in the spot on the side of her head where Chloe's lips currently resided. So many thoughts were running through her brain. Notably missing from these thoughts was her boyfriend.

"Becaaaa...you ready to go?" Beca heard Jesse squawk from across the bar. She sighed and squeezed Chloe one last time before turning to walk away.

Chloe, feeling braver than she'd ever been before, grabbed Beca's hand and swung her back around. The awkward motion caused the brunette to bump into the redhead.

"Becs...um...listen, I've really had so much fun getting to know you better over the last few months. And...I don't know what your plans are this summer...if you were gonna be around…"

"Oh, I'm totally gonna be here! I'm taking some classes to get ahead so I can graduate earlier."

Chloe tried to control the huge grin forming on her face.

"Okay, cool...maybe we can hang out more? Aubrey is going to be gone for most of the summer, so you can keep me company." Chloe tried to seem casual; Chloe tried to convince herself things could be casual.

"I would seriously love that." Beca coughed, taken back by the frankness of her statement, and continued, "If you aren't doing anything, maybe we could hang out tomorrow?"

"Sounds great. Just text whenever." Chloe pulled Beca in for one last hug.

Watching Beca walk away, seeing Jesse put his arm around her, Chloe felt a pang of sadness wash over her. _Buck up, Beale_ , she thought to herself. She was choosing to be in this situation. Truthfully, she'd rather have Beca as a friend than not at all. Clearing her mind, she called out to Aubrey and Stacie and ran to catch up with her friends. It wouldn't kill her to be stuck in a platonic relationship with the girl. At least, she didn't think it would.


	4. The Chain

The Chain

 _Dear Beca,_

 _I don't think I can do this any more. There's a storm brewing outside and I can't seem to place blame with anyone but myself. I think the world is angry with me._

 _I can't think anymore. I can't focus. I can't exist without you, it seems. I've tried to readjust. I moved out of the apartment with Aubrey. I don't know if you knew that. I just couldn't sleep in that room without you. Nothing feels right._

 _You promised me you wouldn't leave. You told me. You told me no matter what happened, we'd always have each other._

 _Here I am, Beca. I am here waiting for you. You get to leave, you get to glide away without a care in the world. And I'm left. Alone._

 _I can't do it anymore, Becs. I can't do this without you._

 _Beca. My sweet, beautiful, darling...I leave you now. I have to; I have to save myself from this heartache. But if you want me, if ever you want me...I will be unfortunately yours for always. Find me. Find me and my door will be open._

 _-Chloe_

* * *

Beca folded the letter up and placed it in her beside table, neatly tucked away into the pages of one of her favorite books. She was careful not to tear the paper. The letter was well-worn after two years of being folded and unfolded, read, read again, wept on, half crumpled. Every time she read the letter, she was transported back in time to a cold October morning when everything changed. Today, however, Beca found herself thinking of the months that led up to that fateful morning.

" _Becs! Get your bag and let's go! I want to get the house set up before the other girls get there!" Chloe yelled through the stairwell of her apartment to the brunette still lingering inside._

 _The pair were packed and ready to head toward the coast, to Chloe's aunt's vacation house, where the rest of the Bellas would be meeting them._

 _Beca lugged her bags down the stairs, grunting far more than necessary to garner attention from the redhead. Chloe glanced over her shoulder to take in this display._

" _Ahem...did you need some help?" Beca steeled her face and clenched her jaw._

" _Nope-" she popped the final syllable and continued to trudge down the stairs with a newly discovered gusto. Chloe couldn't help but giggle. Beca couldn't help but sigh. That giggle would be the death of her._

 _All packed, buckled in and music blaring, the girls began their journey. A natural comfort washed over them. Beca had made a playlist for their drive and the girls talked, laughed and sang to one another. Chloe loved these moments, these private and personal memories only she and Beca were making. Seemingly without thinking, Chloe's hand found its way to Beca's leg. The brunette curled her legs up into her seat, leaned toward the redhead and intertwined their fingers. They remained this way throughout the rest of their journey._

Beca smiled thinking of that drive. They had pulled over about halfway through to have lunch. Not knowing exactly where they were nor were they trusting of the local cuisine, they opted the grab some sandwiches from a deli chain and pulled over into a park. She remembers how they sat and ate in silence, stealing glances and exchanging winks. They had shared their food like a couple who'd been together for years. That's how it felt to Beca. So natural. So definite. Beca reached for the letter again, carefully unfolding and reading Chloe's words again. This was the moment she first panicked.

Beca closed her eyes and breathed deeply. The memories were flooding back to her now. The wounds were being reopened. This was cathartic. This was what she needed, right? This is what therapy was supposed to do. These truths certainly did not make it hurt any less.

* * *

 _Chloe giggled as the buttons on Beca's plaid shirt popped open._

" _It's like popcorn...or fireworks...or a bb gun…" Chloe took Beca's lips between her own and let her hands graze against the brunette's bra-clad breasts._

 _Beca moaned and moved her center against the redhead, "It's a good thing you're bulletproof."_

 _Chloe felt herself come undone. She pushed Beca from between her legs and laid the deejay on her back. Chloe slowly stood, brushing her fingertips down Beca's lips, across her breasts, down to her belly button. Her fingers found their way to her own body. Beca sighed and tried to maintain composure, as the redhead began a devastatingly slow striptease. A blush growing on her cheeks, and an unwilling anxiety hiding somewhere deep in her chest, Beca averted her eyes momentarily. Chloe noticed this and lightly-but firmly-brought Beca's jaw square and stared into the brunette's navy eyes._

" _I want you to watch every single second of this, ma'am. I want you to memorize every inch of me. Because what I want…" Chloe paused to unhook and remove her bra, "what I need…" the matching panties were next to go, "is for your tongue to discover every part of my body."_

 _Beca crashed their lips together, furiously removing the rest of her clothing. She wasted no time in covering the redhead with kisses, tracing a line from her ruby lips, down her long neck, stopping briefly to appreciate Chloe's sweet nipples. The redhead ran her fingers through Beca's hair, letting the fruity smell of Beca's shampoo wash over her. Her mind took her briefly back a month before, to the first time she and Beca had made love. The master bedroom at her aunt's beach house had provided the perfect harbour for their quiet declaration of-Chloe stopped herself short of thinking love-desire. It had been a little awkward, necessarily quiet, and absolutely perfect. In the thirty days since, the girls had thrown caution to the wind and dove all into one another. Physically, Beca was hers. Emotionally, Chloe knew that was another story. She knew that was a conversation for another time. She couldn't afford to think of that now. Because right now, Chloe was all in; there was no doubt of this._

 _Chloe's thoughts were quickly taken over by Beca's tongue finding her center. She gladly shut her mind off for the night and gave her body, her heart, her soul over to Beca._

* * *

Beca's memories were interrupted by her phone ringing. She carefully put the letter back in its hiding place and walked into her kitchen where her phone was charging.

"This is Beca."

"Becs! It's Stevie...how's my favorite producer?"

"Hey Steve. Um, I'm good. Kind of in the middle of...uh...house-cleaning...what's up?" Beca cringed at the terrible lie she'd told her manager. She knew she had to take his call. Her boss, though a grown man who insisted on being called Stevie, had an amazing knack for getting her contracts with up and coming artists looking for a new sound. He completely supported Beca's sound and knew the talent and innovation she brought to the label would snag them a big name eventually.

"Honey, I got big news. I need you in the office tomorrow, 9 am. Okay kid?"

"Oh, yeah...should I be concerned?"

"Oh kid. You have no idea. Enjoy the quiet while it lasts." With that, Stevie hung up the phone. Beca's head was swimming with thoughts. She had no idea what could be happening and why her manager wouldn't just tell her what was going on. She sat down at her bar and fiddled about on her phone. She wandered over to her desk and clicked on her computer. With her mind painfully filled with thoughts, she figured the best way to deal would be to work on some music. Beca meant to open her folder of unfinished projects. She was sure of this. Some unknown power was controlling her fingers and opening a folder, buried inside another folder, hidden inside yet another folder, titled "Us."

She pressed play on the first track, closed her eyes and allowed the tears to fall and the memories to return.

* * *

 _Seven months. Chloe Beale and Beca Mitchell had been having sex for seven months. For the better part of seven months, Beca had been ever-present at Chloe's shared apartment with Aubrey. She had a toothbrush and clothes and a drawer and her favorite snacks and IPAs neither of the girls who actually occupied the house would actually drink and she had a redhead who smelled like coconut and kissed her like she was the best thing that ever existed in the world. She had been mapped out, she had been discovered, she had been claimed. Beca Mitchell should be happy._

 _Any normal person would be, which is why on that night, six months after she first shared her body with the intrusive redhead she found impossible to resist, when-filled with Beca's fingers and Beca's passion-Chloe had uttered, "I love you," Beca didn't flinch. She didn't run. She pulled Chloe closer to her heart and kissed her deeply. She could feel Chloe tense; she could hear the cogs in the redhead's mind turning. So she kissed her, she pulled her closer and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, sweet girl."_

 _Beca kissed her and promised her that. She promised Chloe she wouldn't leave. She held Chloe and made love to her that night and into the next morning, with that vow heavy between them. With the earliest glimmer of dawn intruding through the lavender curtains in Chloe's bedroom, Beca kissed her goodnight and wrapped her arms around the redhead. She held the girl strongly and securely. Beca wanted to believe her promise as much as she was certain Chloe did believe her._

Beca had left for Chicago three weeks later. She had taken an internship with the record company that had subsequently offered her a permanent position.

She promised she wouldn't leave. She left.

She promised she would come back. She didn't.

She promised she would take care of Chloe's heart. She didn't.

Chloe had sent the letter Beca's address in Chicago two months after she moved there. Part of her knew she had to take the opportunity, she had to go put in work to make a name for herself. There wasn't choice. Looking back, Beca knew this to be true. But another part of her-she never knew if this part was weak or strong-knew she had a choice. Beca knew she ran. She fled. She knew it was the easier route. Certainly much easier than dealing with her very real, very palpable feelings for Chloe. Beca had read the letter at least one hundred times over the past two years. She wanted to believe the words were true. She wanted to believe that somewhere, there was a redhead who still smelled like coconut, who would kiss her like no one else existed in the world and who would welcome her home. She wanted to believe it. She didn't.

 **AN: I don't own Pitch Perfect obvi.**

 **The songs used thus far are:**

 **Ch1 Vincent, by Sarah Wise**

 **Ch2 Be Be Your Love, by Rachael Yamagata**

 **Ch3 If It Kills Me, by Jason Mraz**

 **Ch4 The Chain, by Ingrid Michaelson**


End file.
